It is our family tradition to spend New Year's Eve with a gang of rabbis and their families. We’ve essentially all raised our children together. Once upon a time, we would put the babies to bed, spend some quality time together and then hit the sack well before midnight. But now, we’re in a terrible in-between where we, an exhausted gaggle of parents at the end of a nearly 2 week school break, just want to go to bed but the demanding horde of 5-12 year olds are determined to stay awake until midnight to watch the ball drop in real time. We oblige and quickly turn in after the confetti flies.
It’s not my favorite thing, this staying up to midnight business. But even I have to admit, it might just be worth it in order to watch the ecstatic cheer of my kids and give them their first kisses of 2025. In that stroke of midnight, something primal takes over. It's a magical moment, no matter how culturally contrived or sleep-deprived.
My teacher Larry Hoffman recently wrote one of his “Open Letters to My Students,” where he waxed poetic on the cross-cultural fascination, and celebration, of the New Year:
“Most cultures have some sort of new year’s bash,” he observed, “The rationale behind it all is unclear. History of Religion expert Mircea Eliade considered it an outgrowth of ancient peoples’ desire to take refuge in a primeval moment when the connection between ourselves and the gods was patent…”.
His point, I believe, is that cultural and religious moments of marking time are not just about logically organizing our days. Sometimes, for reasons that aren’t exactly logical, the moment and our souls meet. And even if it is just a moment, sometimes it is much more than a wistful, passing kiss of earthly and Divine. One minute of connection can be enough for a soul rejuvenation. It’s like a dry watercolor palette. When you apply even a small drop of water, the color reactivates. You can paint again. Might that be what happens at midnight on January 1st.
But then we have to wonder what happens between those potent moments? Our beginnings are not always magically sparked by tons of confetti and loving embraces. As Rabbi Hoffman points out, “Judaism famously warns that ‘All beginnings are difficult’ (Mekhilta to Exodus 19:5).” “Google ‘Beginnings are hard,’” he says, “and you find a ton of people in agreement. All sorts of examples come to mind: moving to a new school; starting a new job; embarking on a new relationship; undertaking a new project; writing that first line of a school essay.”
He has a point. It’s one thing to say “New Year, New You!” and it’s another to actually jumpstart the process of self-improvement. That’s why Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, is really just the start of a 10 day turning project that culminates in the drama of Yom Kippur.
But then Rabbi Hoffman adds a wrinkle. He muses that while beginnings are hard “...endings are usually harder. Making new friends, though difficult, is easier than saying goodbye to old ones. Starting your first job is easier than retiring. Declaring a war is nothing compared to ending it. Moving in with (you hope) the love of your life may have its uncertainties, but the pain is in moving out. I know nothing about what it feels like to be born into the world, but I suspect that dying is harder.”
We know this truth too. “Old habits die hard,” they say. With enough motivation, you can begin a new project or pick up a paintbrush and paint with gusto. Endings take motivation too, but often motivation might not be enough. You can be motivated to stop smoking, for example, but actually doing it is a bear of a battle. Starting 2025 with a new set of resolutions is likely easier than quitting the bad habits of 2024. We learned a lot about ourselves and our neighbors in 2024 and those insights are going to follow us into 2025 where they will no longer be theoretical, but consequential.
Will 2025 bring further descent into our baser proclivities or will it be the beginning of personal and national redemption? It’s a question that hovers menacingly, like the drones over New Jersey. Are we on the precipice of good or further evil? Many would say the latter.
Enter our forefather Judah. On the surface, last weeks’ Torah portion and this week’s parsha seem to be all about the Joseph narrative. But if you look closely, you’ll see his brother Judah’s story running parallel, with lessons for this looming New Year.
Judah is the fourth of the six sons of Jacob and Leah. When Judah and his brothers throw Joseph into a pit to die, it is Judah who sees a caravan of Ishmaelites and suggests that they sell Joseph into slavery instead: “What profit is it if we slay our brother and conceal his blood? ... Let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our flesh” (Gen 37:26-28).
At this point, the Torah becomes ambivalent toward Judah. He saved Joseph’s life, but didn’t go so far to rescue him. He’s not a villain, but not quite a hero either. So the text takes a detour, and in a narrative aside, we learn that Judah went to live away from his brothers, got married and had children. Long story short, Judah neglects to properly take care of his daughter-in-law, Tamar. When she calls him to task, he publicly owns up to his descent into sin. It is the first step in his story’s redemptive arc.
So then in this week’s Torah portion, Judah’s character is ultimately determined. When his brother Benjamin is taken into custody in Egypt, Judah offers his life in exchange, pleading for Benjamin’s release. With this heroic act, Judah’s redemption is complete. Once he was a wishy-washy do-gooder, then a full blown sinner, and then he became a repentant. Now he seeks not just accountability, but justice, and he is willing to put his life on the line for it.
This redemptive arc in the text is important, because Judah will one day be the progenitor of the Kingdom of Judah, the ancient country of Jewish hegemony. He has to rise to goodness in order to establish legitimacy to the throne and merit being the ancestor of the coming Messiah.
And even so, it is still significant that Judah goes through this hero’s journey. Far from perfect, he role models our own journey to being better. Sure, beginnings are hard, but Judah represents how hard it is to shake your baser inclinations, how hard it is to end the bad habits and earn a good reputation; how much effort it takes to live up to your potential.
One final insight along these lines from our tradition to take into 2025:
There are two times in the Torah that God shares a list of curses that will befall the people if they do not live according to the laws God set for leading moral lives. Basically, it’s what happens if they don’t live up to their potential.
Over time, our sages instituted rules for the public recitation of these curses: the reader utters them in a quieter voice than the blessings. Furthermore, the aliyah, the section being read, cannot end with the curses. The reader must go at least one verse past the curses before stopping.
Understanding both this practice and Judah’s story, the message from our tradition is clear: even when we have neglected to live up to our potential, we must struggle past the sin. Redemption is on the horizon if we would just strive towards it.
Perhaps this is the value of even an exhausted parent staying up to midnight on New Years Eve. We hold a haggard 2024 in our hearts and push forward into 2025. We welcome it with fanfare and joy, even when we know it too will be a struggle. We feel the earthly and Divine kiss at midnight, if even for a second, in order to renew our spirits and tell us we can be redeemed - if not today, maybe one day soon - as long as we hold fast to the God-given potential within us.
Happy 2025 everyone. Whether full of beginnings or endings, may it be a year of growth and possibility. Amen.
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