With all the horror going on in Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank, why did this week hurt more than other weeks?
Perhaps it was the truly dramatic tragedy of the thing: that the six young Israelis, stuffed away in a terror tunnel, were murdered just 48 hrs before they could be rescued. Perhaps it is the maniacal heinousness of Hamas. Perhaps it is the obstinate guilt of Netanyahu. Maybe it’s the fact that these six lives, and the tens of thousands that have perished these last 10 months, are all pawns in a twisted game that has barrelled out of control. The helplessness has hit a new low.
I stand with the thousands of Israelis imploring their government to strike a deal. Bring them home now. Save the lives of the hostages, the innocent Palestinians, the IDF soldiers and all those who just want to be home, safe, in the arms of their families.
This week, Rachel Goldberg-Polin, Hersh’s mom, eulogized her son. In the political hotbed of war, she stood before the world as a mom who wanted to hug her son again.
“It is not that Hersh was perfect,” she said, “But, he was the perfect son for me. And I am so grateful to G-d, and I want to do hakarat hatov and thank G-d right now, for giving me this magnificent present of my Hersh…For 23 years I was privileged to have this most stunning treasure, to be Hersh’s Mama. I’ll take it and say thank you. I just wish it had been for longer.”
I was astounded by her ability to even utter the word “gratitude” in such a thankless, heartbreaking circumstance when the world had failed her.
Listening to her speech while meditating over the faces of the six murdered young people, I saw the thousands of others behind them - the faces of all the children whose lives have been ended by this abhorrent violence. I saw their mothers’ tears in Rachel Goldberg-Polin’s eyes. I felt their mothers’ cries in my own lungs.
2000 years ago, the prophet Jeremiah invoked another mother-Rachel’s tears. As he surveyed the destruction of Jerusalem, in chapter 31 of his prophesy, Jeremiah cried, “A voice is heard, lamentation and bitter weeping: Rachel is weeping for her children and refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are gone.” (Jeremiah 31:15).
Jeremiah and our sages consider Rachel imaneu - our foremother Rachel, wife of Jacob - to be the personification of a weeping Israel; a mother who suffers as her children have been carted off into enemy territory and whose lives have been shattered.
Jeremiah continues: “And God will answer her: Restrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work will be rewarded, says God, and they will return from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future…that your children will return to their own borders.’”
How are we to read this part of Jeremiah’s prophecy? Your work will be rewarded, they will return to their own borders. Rachel Goldberg-Polin has spent a year using her every waking moment to bring her son home and for nothing.
Can we read Jeremiah’s words with any credibility? If I’m being generous, they can give us hope. But I’m not feeling generous. I’m feeling betrayed. These days it feels like insisting on hope is to insist on vapor - empty wisps of human goodness that seem to flee every time we grab at them.
So sometimes we need to look elsewhere for inspiration.
My colleague Rabbi Josh Whinston wrote that he heard Rachel Goldberg-Polin speak this summer: “She said that when Hersh left for the Nova festival, he left his copy of The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama at home since he only expected to be gone for a night or two. He was on the sixth chapter.”
Rabbi Whinston suggested we finish reading it in his honor. Perhaps you would like to take up the suggestion. I got a copy and began to look it over:
In Chapter 5, words Hersh had just read, the Dalai Lama shares:
Sometimes when I meet old friends, it reminds me how quickly time passes. And it makes me wonder if we've utilized our time properly or not. Proper utilization of time is so important. While we have this body, and especially this amazing human brain, I think every minute is something precious. Our day-to-day existence is very much alive with hope, although there is no guarantee of our future. There is no guarantee that tomorrow at this time we will be here. But we are working for that purely on the basis of hope. So, we need to make the best use of our time.”
In other words, hope gives us purpose. Cherishing life means knowing it might end, and while we may want to ignore that fact, it is the key to finding meaning.
The Dalai Lama then anticipates our question: how do we make the best use of our time? He continues: “I believe that the proper utilization of time is this: if you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them. I think that is the whole basis of my philosophy.”
It seems basic enough. And yet we’re failing at the “refrain from harm” part. To even put it that way is a depressing understatement.
But in honor of Hersh, we’ll trudge forward into Chapter 6. Given our drive to harm one another, how do we begin to curb our brutal inclinations?
The Dalai Lama answers: “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. We must insist upon love, even creating it from the chaotic ugliness of loss. Rachel Goldberg-Polin taught this as she addressed Hersh’s spirit: “As we transform our hope into grief and this new unknown brand of pain, I beg of you, please do what you can to have your light shine down on me, Dada, Leebie and Orly. Help shower us with healing and resilience. Help us to rise again. I know it will take a long time, but please may G-d bless us that one day, one fine day, Dada, Leebie, Orly and I will hear laughter, and we will turn around and see… that it’s us. And that we are ok. You will always be with us as a force of love and vitality, you will become our superpower.”
I am so grateful for these words. The darkness of this war has shaken us down to the depths of our souls. But can we acknowledge that we are feeling so deeply sad because we love, because we are capable of compassion? To see a world where love and compassion are lacking damages our hearts. So to survive, we must insist upon them. Like Rachel, our grief will represent our love and that will be our superpower.
This is what I see in the Israelis who have taken to the streets and continue to advocate on behalf of the hostages. Yes, it is anger, but it is also love. Love of their fellow citizens, love of their country. Love of all humanity.
Love is where it all begins and ends, at least according to Jeremiah. Because chapter 31:3 also states: “With everlasting love - a love from the beginning of the world - I have loved you.”
May we find the courage to love with an everlasting love, forged from the foundations, with the power to shatter hate. May we express gratitude, even when the word feels foreign, and may we insist on reuniting as many loved ones as possible, helping to dry the tears of every Rachel, to finally end the suffering.
